Hellooooo?

Okay wow....writing on this site brings back memories haha. But I figured since:

1) Choi always tells me that I never write on this anymore D:

and 2) I've started up using Facebook again

That maybe it's time I restart this account. Call it boredom, call it a need to just write some stuff, but whatever it is, I'm back. [not that this matters to anyone but like 2..3..people LOL]

Sigh...well damn, a lot has happened since I went on my little hiatus. So a quick laundry list shall suffice for now and I'll just elaborate on the things I think need elaboration:

1) I GOT INTO UVA. :D:D:D:D I'm seriously excited for that. Although I really am disappointed that I won't be attending Mason with some faggots, I believe UVA, in the end, is the place I'm supposed to be. Finding out that I was going there, knowing that I'm gonna be rooming with my friend Bisu, and realizing that some of my close friends from high school are going there too made it seem like my college future was just falling into place [shiet... this was supposed to be just a list...but I elaborated anyway LOL. my bad]

2) I just graduated today.. wooohooo...

3) I'm about to go on an intense work out plan..hopefully..

4) I'm slowly advancing in sc [lame..]

ehh...Okay so my life since my break from Blogger really hasn't been all that eventful on paper, but honestly it seems like a lot has happened.

I remember writing on this thing and being stressed about college/applications/AP Stats/and all that high school business. So now, this is my first time writing on this and being able to take a breath. I'm a high school graduate. I'm going to college in 2 months. It's beautiful, isn't it?

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Like my little reference above though, I really do have some mixed feels about the whole college thing though. I guess this homecoming entry is really gonna turn into just a jumbled ramble about my thoughts on college, but bear with me if you can lol.

First, I'd like to say again that I'm rooming with one of my closest friends, Bisu Lee (John). I know there's the whole thing where you're not supposed to room with your best friends or whatever, and I guess that applies mainly to girls, but I dunno..I think I could see how that can be a problem. In so many ways me and John are really alike--it's almost scary sometimes LOL. It's really weird how I met this kid online through another friend, and we instantlyclicked. Before I knew it I met him and all three of us had 7 hour talk about life..until he ktfo'd on one of the beds, still clutching his glasses until the very end (LOOOL). And now, we're both going to college together to be roommates. But, I guess I can see where points of conflict could arise. I've never really lived with anyone other than my parents before; there have been times over summers and stuff where people might as well have just lived at my house, but I still think college dorming will be different. In most of the ways though, rooming with John will be very..hmm...what's the right word....I guess like, assuring? First of all, I'm not going to have to worry about having the weird ass roommate that I'll know nothing about and will have to quickly get to know lest there be any awkward tension in the room. I'm pretty sure having a bad experience with your roommate(s) can lead to a bad start to college in general. I know most of his habits, bad and good, so not much should be a surprise. I'm also looking forward to going to whatever church group we find there; sharing the same faith with him and knowing that we're both really involved in things back at home makes me excited to join a youth ministry on campus. In the end though, if my roommate at UVA would be anyone, I'm glad it's John.

What else...well, there's a lot of other cool people that I know who are going to UVA. Most of the people going from my school are people that I've known since like elementary school, and I'm pretty tight with all of them. I'm not really expecting to be super tight-knit with all of them once we get to college, but being able to see some familiar faces and hopefully keeping those friendships with at least some of them is another bonus to attending such an awesome school.

I guess there is the bad in every situation though (that's a really pessimistic way to look at things, and very usual for me, but I guess reality is setting in). I guess in most ways I'm completely and fully excited to be leaving high school behind. Leaving the school is great. But I'm not so sure about the people. Sure, there are shits and faggots that I'm glad I don't have to deal with, but in the end these are people that I've gone to school with, some for only a year, some since kindergarten. It's sort of sad to be leaving most of them behind as we go out separate ways to college.

But then, there are those few people that everyone has that will truly be missed. It's not just a little yearbook message like "It was fun in high school. It's sad we're all leaving but keep in touch!!"...but more the people who you'd be like "You've made such a huge impact on my life, thank you and I'm really going to miss you." Some people have only a few of those, and some have more than a few (I'm more like the former), but either way, it's gonna be really hard leaving these people behind.

With the time leading up to graduation, especially beginning after the idea of college had finally set in, I've had talks with various college people about life after high school. I asked them what it's like to leave those people behind, and what happens to your relationships with them. Some told me they never speak to their friends from high school at all. Some told me "it just depends on the friendship." And some have told me that, while they've made some of the best friends of their lives in college, those people in high school are still just as important.

I honestly hope that it's not the first; I'd be content with the second; but I pray that it's the third. If it's depending on the people themselves, then there are some I'm not really worried about at all, and others that I feel would more fall out of contact. It's just so depressing, really, that someone that I've walked through high school, through all the shit, and through all the awesome times, through study groups after school, through lazy summer days, through everything, how some of them won't be there one afternoon to say "let's chill". And knowing me, I'm being an over-thinking worrywart; I know myself well enough to be quite aware of this trait. Maybe this really isn't something to expend so much energy thinking over, maybe it's something I have no real control over, but whatever it is, it's something that replays in my mind.

I guess there is no conclusion to this--yet. What happens will happen, whether it's how I imagine it now, or how I want it to be, or whatever. To those whom I will meet and whom I share my life with, I'm excited to meet. To those whom I retain my bond with, you don't know how glad I will be. But to everyone else, I'm really going to miss you.

You know, I have never really had to move schools. Our district was always growing while I was growing up, so I moved elementary schools like twice, but the same kids moved with me, and we all reunited in middle school anyway, so honestly, nothing major has changed for me. I know people who had moved after 8th grade and started completely alone in high school, I know people who had moved right after Junior year and started fresh as a senior. I know people who have moved from freaking foreign countries and were thrown into the American school system to either sink or swim. But me, well, I've always been here. This is my first real exposure to change, and I'm not sure how to take it. In the end though, there are those who will stay by my side, and those who will walk by it in the future, so I guess, in the grand scheme of things, there's nothing too major to worry about.

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Well, that definitely went on a lot longer than I thought LOL. Ah well, if you read all the way through it thank you, if not...well...sorry it was boring? hahahaha. It's just my outloud rant anyway.

Anyhoo, I'm probably gonna either sc or sleep soon. As for tomorrow, who knows what--maybe starting that major work out routine?

--Until next time

jaawshh

Learning

It kind of feels like I'm going backwards lately. Maybe it's just because I've been so conflict-less lately that I just forget how to act, or maybe I wasn't as grown up as I thought.

This post is starting off very negatively; don't worry, it won't be emo whining. I'm actually thankful for the past recent events. It's knocking me down in the best way; it's allowing me to see what I still need to work on, to realize that there's still a lot of growing for all of us. I forget that I'm just a senior in high school, that I'm almost 18, but that I'm only just 18.

I think the biggest mark of maturity is knowing when you're wrong. And with being wrong should come apology, right? You can admit all you want to yourself that you did something wrong. But how can you amend what you did in private? I know that I have apologized for some of these things, but I do want to just put out a blanket apology again. This is not something to make myself look good or to be something to brag about. I don't care who reads this, I don't really think anyone even does. This is for me and myself; since this is my freaking blog, I think it's appropriate. If you're gonna take this the wrong way then just ex-out now, thanks.

To you: I'm sorry that I dragged this out for longer than it should have. We definitely talked this out enough, so I don't want to go on anymore than I have. But I'm glad that this worked out in the end.

To you: I'm sorry for getting pissed. I know that you felt bad for what happened, but even knowing that, I was still angry for a while. It was only until I actually got your call that I realized all this crap is dumb and that, even though you didn't think so, I thought you were in a pretty scary situation. I realized that you being okay and safe was more important than me feeling sorry for myself and ignoring the logic of the situation just to have a reason to get mad. Getting bothered with you is probably the worst feeling since you really are one of my closest friends and a brother; I know you say that nothing ever changes and will never with us, but it still bothers me knowing that I'm doing something that in theory could change it. Thank you for having more confidence than I ever can, and still accepting me for that.

To you: I never should have said that. I apologized to you already but it felt sort of rushed. Not that I was rushing, but that the moment was over faster than it took me to write those words. Maybe it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it was, but knowing that you heard those words that I typed in rage still makes me feel horribly. I do not think of you like that. I really don't. You're someone that I respect a lot, and even though there's room for us to grow in friendship, it makes me excited that there still is that room. Hopes and cheers to the future, right?

Well, enough for the mushy stuff. I don't know if any of that makes sense, but each of you should know to whom I am referring. Even if its scrambled thoughts, the meaning should still carry through.


Oh and...

To YouHo: I'm so sorry for excluding you in this. Because of this crazy event, we were almost not friends. I wanted to kill you, seriously. But coming out of it, I realized one thing.....and that is I'm making all of this up. LOL. But it's okay. Rooming together will surely induce conflict, and I can write about it forever later. KEKEKE IM SO EXCITED (again rain voice). "그다음에 UVA에서 같이 한방에서 잘때 사랑해줄께"

ㄴㅇㅇㅇㅇㅇㅇㄴ
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YEAAAAAAAAH okay. Maybe I'll be a little bi polar and continue with some more light hearted commentary.

Well, my aunt came over today, and we spent the afternoon with her. It was pretty fun actually; we went to Chipotle and then starbucks, her treat. Pretty awesome right? Then we had larosaghetti for dinner..SAHWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET.

Btw, credits to Choi for the new layout. So good and creative with these layouts. I, and I'm sure everyone else, am very thankful for the time you put into them. 너무 감사합니다!!

Speaking of Korean, I got five practice books from my friend in school last week. Omg....I will be practicing for ever KEKEKEKE. *Rain* I'm so excited. LOL.

Blehh well I have some duties to attend to. CALCULUS TUTOR GOGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(jk its not a duty I do it cause I want to, so don't take it the wrong way you shiets).

Ican'tthinkofatitle

SOOOO..







I missed my usual Guidance Aid Update, and I apologize (it's too laaaaate (8) ). But we were sorta kicked out of our usual dwelling, in which the computers reside. The people who are t00 sl0w to finish their SOLs in time got sent there instead. But ah well, I got some AP STATs done in the meantime (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh). Btw, have I ever said how much I hate AP Stats on here? Cause I really do. It's probably the second most hated class for me, narowlly beaten out by AP Lang. I swear these classes will be the death of me before I even get to graduate.



So hmmm, today was pretty fun. I went to school like usual, but the effed up schedules put us in 2 hours of first block. Now that probably doesn't sound that great, but that meant 2 hours of AP Latin, which I actually happen to really enjoy. If not by now, you will probably start to notice that I kinda get nerdy about langauges...iono I just really have a passion for attempting to understand them (what a huge turnoff LOL). But yeah it was fun. Our class is pretty cool, and my teacher, Mrs. Kliper, is probably the best teacher I've ever had (thank you for the college recs ^^!!!). We talked about how there are mythological themes in modern day culture....weird right? I'll spare you the details, even though I find them sickeningly fascinating (Holy shit I can't believe I'm writing this LOLOL), but essentially we connected themes from Vergil's Aeneid to Batman. Yup..


Oh what else. Well in PEER, we did puppets today (kekekeke). I'm pretty good at puppets, surprisingly enough. Seriously, we are creating scripts about all this cute stuff like friendship and whatnot, so we can do puppet shows for the elementary school kids across the street. When we're done with that though, we do improve style puppeteering. LOOOOOOL. I swear we have some of the funniest people in our class. I'm just freaking weird, and there are some people who I swear have an intelligence and wit that is God-given and hysterical. I wanna piss my pants every time we do this LOL. I don't wanna tell any stories about it because it will just make the whole thing look ridiculous and not funny, but take my word for it. Just imagine a crab with a French accent (You just said you wouldn't talk about it and you really are ruining it...).



Hmmm, so yeah then the next period I had...AP Stats. EXCEPT THERE WAS A SUB. YESSS. Not just any sub though; it was Mrs. Dennington. She really doesn't care what you do and is notorious for being one of the most desired subs in the school. She let's you listen to your iPod and everything, SO COOL. So yeah that class was pretty chill.


Then I went home with that chigger shit. I don't think I need to list any names LOOL. We went to the gym YAAAHH!! It was pretty good though, I think I'm improving. I was on a roll though, when the most ridiculous thing happened...







Some freaking blonde short ass 4 foot 2 punk walks into the gym with his MOM. Well normally this wouldn't be a problem; it might be a little awkward, but not really a problem. Except...the gym's equiptment is those kinds where all the workouts are sort of combined into just like two machines. So the benching and the curling machine are located on the same unit. Well I just finished a set, and I just adjusted the weight. Then, this kid just slams the door open and sits down to do bench press. THIS FREAKING MIDGET JUST GOES AND TAKES THE DAMN MACHINE. AND HIS MOM WATCHES @Q!^!$&!@#$@#$*&@. WTF.


But I'm too nice (and secretly lazy) to say anything, so I just walk out. God...the only thing that pisses me off more than rude kids is rude parents. So freaking bm. OomPaLoompA[bm].



This is not the worst of it though....more gg is to come.





So we're walking home, and it had just recently rained right? Well, we come to a HUGE wet spot. Jay and I were obviously too lazy to go out of our way and walk alllll the way around it, so we decided to jump over.


Remember how there is a white limitation for playing sc? Well...idk if you know...but there's one for jumping too.


Jay's black, so his shoes grow wings (so fresh..LOLOL jk), and he glides across. Then it's my turn. I yell:





"OMG LOLOL I THINK MY SHOES GONNA FALL OFF."





Jay just gave me this look like *lolol u shit juss jump over iss not that far*.


Well...I jump, and my fooot goes SQUISHHHHHHHHHHHSPLAT into the mud. The shoe's momentum quickly and clearly halted, while my body continues to accelerate forward...



Yeah....my foot slipped right out, leaving my shoe cemeted clearly into the mud.

Yeah, it was epik fail. Holay shiet. It was freakin hilarious though hahahaha. I'm pretty sure this will be a much harsher account of this story on that chigger's blog though.

Ahhhh what else. Oh yeah, well yesterday was pretty interesting. My friend Juho and I just randomly broke out into AIM Korean conversation. It was pretty funny/cool/motivational/yeah. It was funny cause I was actually talking, and understanding like 99% of the stuff he said. It was cool for the same reasons...I was conversing in another language O_O. And it was motivational because, even though I know there is a lot left that I need to learn, I really am getting better. I hope that by this summer I'll be a lot more capable of the langauge!! 화이팅!

Anyhooo, that's about it. Not much else has been going on. I just finished eating some olive garden that my mom brought home though, mmmmmm. But yeah, that's it for now. laterssss.

jaawshh

It's been a while

Gahhh I haven't updated in quite a while. Not like I'm apologizing to many people though because there are only a few of you who are dedicated or bored enough to read this LOL. But anyway, I feel like it's about time I add something new here (And also I'm just really bored in guidance...).

Hmm, well as for updates, there's not that much going on. I'm still hating on school. I hate being here, really. The only bearable days are B days, but that's because half of my classes aren't really classes. A days suck so hard. Three APs in a row, then physics. FML. But ah well, at least the year is more than half way over. I suppose that's the bright side to everything.

But enough of the whining (for now.).

Church was rather interesting this Sunday. I sorta like to think that God reads my blog too, cause it seemed like we were having a long-distance conversation. In my most recent post, I basically left off saying that, whatever I do, I'm gonna do it with purpose. My issue though was not really knowing what that "thing" is. Kinda like a "what is my purpose" sort of deal, though on a slightly lesser scale.

Anyhoo, at church Pastor Brad basically explained to me what I need to do. The weird thing is that it wasn't a conversation between him and I, but it was just a sermon; just a normal day at church. I've had experiences like this before, when it really seemed like some issue I was dealing with or whatever was being put up on stage, but the fact that I actually blogged about it and then saw some kind of response is pretty cool.

In short, the message basically said "we're asking the wrong kinds of questions." At least for me, I'm always wondering "What am I supposed to do?" or maybe "What is God's plan for me?" Normal questions right? Like everyone seems to want to have this greater purpose. No one wants to just coast through life and then look back at it and see every single day wasted; each second as lifeless. It's seemingly logical to think that this is just a part of the human condition--that people, whether it be in a religious context or not, desire some sort of meaning.

But I saw that these aren't really the right kinds of things to ask. Rather than saying, "God, what is your plan for me?" I should ask, "God, what is your plan for this world, and how can I be a part of it?" Basically, the mindset of the first question supposes that God is only about me; that only my relationship with him matters. And it does, but it's not the only thing that He's concerned with. There are billions of people in the world, each with their own lives, problems, and struggles. Who am I to behave like I am the only one?

The second question is more aligned with God. My focus shouldn't be on, "What's God's purpose for me?" but rather, "How can I help?" We all are a part of some cosmic plan, no doubt. If we are all weaved into this plan for the universe, then shouldn't my place it in be the same as yours? Why do I need my own singular "plan", when there is something greater already waiting for me to jump in? If I can perceive God's work around me, then my purpose should be to further advance it.

Now, I have a lot more answers, but still some lingering questions. I know what I should be asking now. I just need to realize God's work in the place around me. But with the right questions, you will always find your answer.


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Yeah so sorry for the serious blogs lately. I guess this just reflects my contemplative mood. That, and there really hasn't been that much to say. But hopefully I get some more light-hearted stuff up here soon. But until then, gewd byeeeeee.

jaawshh

Live

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." ~ Oscar Wilde

As I came to sit down after delivering so many passes, I planned to just write about whatever. The random and unplanned things that interrupt the cycle for each day, the things that differentiate today and a day. But I think I'll change it up a little.

I sat down on this crappy old Dell. I call it crappy because it's the same model computer that I owned, that just randomly self destructed. Thank you Windows, thanks. I logged on to my account, and came to the default desktop for each student. The school tries to spruce it up a little by adding announcements, little reminders and what not in an embedded slide show. But no one really reads this stuff. It goes without much thought.

Today was different. By chance, I happened to look at the screen before hitting the Internet Explorer button. The current slide show being displayed was our Weekly Quote. And it said the what's listed above. But here it is again:

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."


In a few seconds, a whole series of thoughts swarmed through my head. I'm not sure if you call this a wake up call, but it was definitely something worth paying attention to:

This quote begs the unrelenting question: "What am I doing with my life?" I'm not trying to come off as cliche or like a fortune cookie, but it's such an important question.

I don't like it, but I really do fit into the latter category. I exist, but do I live? Sure, biologically I'm alive (duhh), but how much does that amount to? I eat, breathe, 똥, sleep, consume. But what do I produce? What do I do that's anything significant? How am I living?

During the school week, I'm always looking forward to the weekend. My days at school are spent awaiting the dismissal bell, and my time at home is spent lamenting over the homework pile and lusting after the weekend. Then the weekend comes. Granted, a lot of the time I am out or at least with somebody else, but some of the time I'm just sitting home. And what do I do? I watch one-piece for like hours. I watch episode after episode. I sit in my bed and watch. Just taking in the information, consuming it.

Now, I'm not here saying that watching a show or whatever is bad, because it really is not. I'm not saying that looking forward to free time or a break is wrong, because it can be good.

But when that is my existence, that's the problem. I'm gonna look back one day and notice that I spent a whole lotta time waiting, and not enough living. I wasted so much time sitting around, and not enough acting.

My plan wasn't to make this religious or anything, but this definitely relates to my spiritual life. It's funny cause while I was writing this, I remembered stuff that my youth pastor, Justin, said. The topic was boredom. In short, he said,

"How can any follower of Jesus Christ be bored? Each one of you is part of a movement, each one of you is a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven. Your lives are renewed and you have new meaning, a new soul. You know that you have been saved, and this knowledge is good. Your lives should reflect this. Joy, love, peace, it should all be a part of you. And knowing that you're part of such an awesome purpose, how can you ever be bored? Your lives have purpose, so go do it."

So, I dunno, maybe in its own existence, this snippet isn't that meaningful. But in context, it meant enough to me where I can remember it vividly. And I used to think about it a lot, because it made so much sense. I know this truth, I know it. It's described as this fire that wells up and consumes you from the inside out. This joy inside me, this new life, should explode from inside me and make me do something. But instead, I can quickly forget it and just youtube for 5 hours.

I need something to live for. I need a purpose. People ask me, "What do you wanna do in college?" or, "What kinda job do you want to have?" And I tell them I don't know. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know what kind of job I want, or what exactly I want to study in college. Maybe I'm too indecisive to pick something. Or maybe I just haven't found something to live for, and not live of off.

Without passion, man is nothing. Without a goal, everything else is void. And without it all, we exist, not live.

I need to start living, really. Every day of just getting through it, every day where I just go to school and go home, all of it is for naught. It's a waste.

But I won't stay like this. I can't. Soon I'm gonna realize that I have too much to do, and every wasted day is something I won't ever get back. I'm not sure what this is gonna look like, or what it's gonna involve. But it will be great. I'm alive, I just don't know it yet.

Gahh

I'm so freaking bored today. 너무 심심해. 어떡하죠 ㅜㅜ

Anything that I want to do is ruined by the thought of "Too bad you have school tomorrow."

Man..it's really starting to take it's toll on me. There's only a few months left, and spring break is coming up pretty soon, but just the thought of school ruins the moment.

It sucks cause yesterday was so fun. I spent the whole day laughing and having a good time, not caring about school, hw, stresses, or w/e. I think I'm making up for that now.

God I just want school to end. Summer, Korea, I'm coming for you. No more complaining. No more "I should get a job." I'm getting a damn job and I'm gonna pay for my damn way there. How can I expect anything without working for it?

Furlough. Bleh..

And here's my first entry into political blogging..yay..
Honestly, I thought that I'd be at least a little more excited upon writing my very first blog about politics. But in truth, I'm a bit troubled. So I'm coming to you..my faithful readers (YES ALL THREE OF YOU) seeking your opinion, and an open place to babble my scrambled thoughts.
Hmm..so where should I begin. Well, I guess I'll start by saying Virgina just recently elected a new governor, Bob McDonnell:

안녕~

But yeah, so we just elected this guy. I personally really liked him during the campaign. He seemed like a great candidate for office, especially since his opponent sucked. Even the Democrats agree.

Now, I'm not trying to say that I don't like him anymore. I still do. I'm just a little...confused. So with all this said, here's the deal:


Governor McDonnell ran on the premise that he would not raise taxes. And everyone loves this. No one wants their taxes raised (unless they're sadistic?). And he's sticking to his word--good man. No taxes are being raised. But what a lot of people don't (or didn't) understand is that when taxes are not raised, something has to get cut. Even if people do anticipate a budget cut in the future, it is so detached from them and their current state, that a tempting appeal to a low-tax kinda guy overpowers their forecasting abilities.

I hate tax increases. I love lower taxes. And I support budget cuts. So none of what I've said above is really that much of a big deal to me.

What bothered me then, is what happened today in AP GOV. My teacher, Ms. Batts, is liberal (duhh..teacher.). So obviously she doesn't like Mr. McDonnell. I come into that class always taking her words with a grain of salt (as I should do with anything though, nothing special). And this has done me good in the past. For example, were having a discussion on health care insurance companies:

Ms. Batts: *dadadada........*...and I also think that a lot of the problem with rising health care costs is the massive profit margins health care insurance companies have.

Josh: Oh..hmm yeah I could see large profit margins being a factor. How much do of a margin do you think they have?

Ms. Batts: Oh..I'd say anywhere around 70%. But I'm just putting numbers out there, but I'd say its pretty high over all.

Josh: (hiding *WTF ARE YOU SMOKING* reaction) Oh, well yeah that's pretty big..

The following evening I researched current profit margins from a Yahoo! Business source. They reported that "large name health care insurance companies" had a profit margin somewhere around 3%...

So you can probably understand why I'm not too ready to just take everything Ms. Batts says at face value.

ANYWAY...

So Ms. Batts brought up Mr. McDonnell today in class. And he has in fact carried through in my expectation, that he is going to cut the budget. Although she was under the impression that all of the money was going to be slashed out of the education budget, Mr. McDonnell's exact words were something like, "[no part of the budget is safe, not even education]" To me, that didn't sound like a complete isolation of education, but just a notification that state-wide education is not immune to budget cuts. But I can still understand the frustration.

So she went on to talk about furloughs. The way she explained it, a furlough is when you are made to come into work, but do not recieve pay for that day...

I didn't even know they had such a thing. This is ridiculous in my mind. How can you go into work and not be paid. I'd be so pissed if that happened to me. Having worked in the past, I can tell you that it's not fun. The only, only good thing about it was getting that money at the end of the week. What the hell am I doing there if there's no reward...?

So I'm not really sure what my point is. Ms. Batts went on to continue about other things that could come with the budget cuts: teacher salary slashes, less funding, blah blah, etc. But I honestly think that we have to feel some pain. We're in a freaking recession; how can the government expect to be impervious to it. And I'm not just saying this because I can; it's not like I come from some massively rich family that can take any damage. I'm not sure where some of you get this idea but we really aren't awesomely wealthy. Any pain affects us as well. So I say this, completely unsure of the future. But I also know what I believe, and I will stick with it. I don't want a tax increase. So I will accept budget cuts. If we have to live on a tightened salary, then so should the state government. So should any government.

But the problem is that the government is not just some enigma. It's not just a machine. A collection. It's run by people. A cut in that means a cut for those people. I can't help but be sympathetic. "Yeah sure, you go and take the fall too, ya stupid public servants," isn't something I can easily say. Something interesting Ms. Batts said:

"If I have to go through all this furlough, through these pay cuts, and through even tougher situations at work, then I would have gladly taken the tax increases. The money I lose that way is undoubtedly less than the money I'd lose with these budget cuts."

So basically, I'm not sure what to say. I'm sticking to what I believe: low taxes is, in the end, better for the country. But what about the people it affects, in a not so good way?