Hellooooo?

Okay wow....writing on this site brings back memories haha. But I figured since:

1) Choi always tells me that I never write on this anymore D:

and 2) I've started up using Facebook again

That maybe it's time I restart this account. Call it boredom, call it a need to just write some stuff, but whatever it is, I'm back. [not that this matters to anyone but like 2..3..people LOL]

Sigh...well damn, a lot has happened since I went on my little hiatus. So a quick laundry list shall suffice for now and I'll just elaborate on the things I think need elaboration:

1) I GOT INTO UVA. :D:D:D:D I'm seriously excited for that. Although I really am disappointed that I won't be attending Mason with some faggots, I believe UVA, in the end, is the place I'm supposed to be. Finding out that I was going there, knowing that I'm gonna be rooming with my friend Bisu, and realizing that some of my close friends from high school are going there too made it seem like my college future was just falling into place [shiet... this was supposed to be just a list...but I elaborated anyway LOL. my bad]

2) I just graduated today.. wooohooo...

3) I'm about to go on an intense work out plan..hopefully..

4) I'm slowly advancing in sc [lame..]

ehh...Okay so my life since my break from Blogger really hasn't been all that eventful on paper, but honestly it seems like a lot has happened.

I remember writing on this thing and being stressed about college/applications/AP Stats/and all that high school business. So now, this is my first time writing on this and being able to take a breath. I'm a high school graduate. I'm going to college in 2 months. It's beautiful, isn't it?

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Like my little reference above though, I really do have some mixed feels about the whole college thing though. I guess this homecoming entry is really gonna turn into just a jumbled ramble about my thoughts on college, but bear with me if you can lol.

First, I'd like to say again that I'm rooming with one of my closest friends, Bisu Lee (John). I know there's the whole thing where you're not supposed to room with your best friends or whatever, and I guess that applies mainly to girls, but I dunno..I think I could see how that can be a problem. In so many ways me and John are really alike--it's almost scary sometimes LOL. It's really weird how I met this kid online through another friend, and we instantlyclicked. Before I knew it I met him and all three of us had 7 hour talk about life..until he ktfo'd on one of the beds, still clutching his glasses until the very end (LOOOL). And now, we're both going to college together to be roommates. But, I guess I can see where points of conflict could arise. I've never really lived with anyone other than my parents before; there have been times over summers and stuff where people might as well have just lived at my house, but I still think college dorming will be different. In most of the ways though, rooming with John will be very..hmm...what's the right word....I guess like, assuring? First of all, I'm not going to have to worry about having the weird ass roommate that I'll know nothing about and will have to quickly get to know lest there be any awkward tension in the room. I'm pretty sure having a bad experience with your roommate(s) can lead to a bad start to college in general. I know most of his habits, bad and good, so not much should be a surprise. I'm also looking forward to going to whatever church group we find there; sharing the same faith with him and knowing that we're both really involved in things back at home makes me excited to join a youth ministry on campus. In the end though, if my roommate at UVA would be anyone, I'm glad it's John.

What else...well, there's a lot of other cool people that I know who are going to UVA. Most of the people going from my school are people that I've known since like elementary school, and I'm pretty tight with all of them. I'm not really expecting to be super tight-knit with all of them once we get to college, but being able to see some familiar faces and hopefully keeping those friendships with at least some of them is another bonus to attending such an awesome school.

I guess there is the bad in every situation though (that's a really pessimistic way to look at things, and very usual for me, but I guess reality is setting in). I guess in most ways I'm completely and fully excited to be leaving high school behind. Leaving the school is great. But I'm not so sure about the people. Sure, there are shits and faggots that I'm glad I don't have to deal with, but in the end these are people that I've gone to school with, some for only a year, some since kindergarten. It's sort of sad to be leaving most of them behind as we go out separate ways to college.

But then, there are those few people that everyone has that will truly be missed. It's not just a little yearbook message like "It was fun in high school. It's sad we're all leaving but keep in touch!!"...but more the people who you'd be like "You've made such a huge impact on my life, thank you and I'm really going to miss you." Some people have only a few of those, and some have more than a few (I'm more like the former), but either way, it's gonna be really hard leaving these people behind.

With the time leading up to graduation, especially beginning after the idea of college had finally set in, I've had talks with various college people about life after high school. I asked them what it's like to leave those people behind, and what happens to your relationships with them. Some told me they never speak to their friends from high school at all. Some told me "it just depends on the friendship." And some have told me that, while they've made some of the best friends of their lives in college, those people in high school are still just as important.

I honestly hope that it's not the first; I'd be content with the second; but I pray that it's the third. If it's depending on the people themselves, then there are some I'm not really worried about at all, and others that I feel would more fall out of contact. It's just so depressing, really, that someone that I've walked through high school, through all the shit, and through all the awesome times, through study groups after school, through lazy summer days, through everything, how some of them won't be there one afternoon to say "let's chill". And knowing me, I'm being an over-thinking worrywart; I know myself well enough to be quite aware of this trait. Maybe this really isn't something to expend so much energy thinking over, maybe it's something I have no real control over, but whatever it is, it's something that replays in my mind.

I guess there is no conclusion to this--yet. What happens will happen, whether it's how I imagine it now, or how I want it to be, or whatever. To those whom I will meet and whom I share my life with, I'm excited to meet. To those whom I retain my bond with, you don't know how glad I will be. But to everyone else, I'm really going to miss you.

You know, I have never really had to move schools. Our district was always growing while I was growing up, so I moved elementary schools like twice, but the same kids moved with me, and we all reunited in middle school anyway, so honestly, nothing major has changed for me. I know people who had moved after 8th grade and started completely alone in high school, I know people who had moved right after Junior year and started fresh as a senior. I know people who have moved from freaking foreign countries and were thrown into the American school system to either sink or swim. But me, well, I've always been here. This is my first real exposure to change, and I'm not sure how to take it. In the end though, there are those who will stay by my side, and those who will walk by it in the future, so I guess, in the grand scheme of things, there's nothing too major to worry about.

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Well, that definitely went on a lot longer than I thought LOL. Ah well, if you read all the way through it thank you, if not...well...sorry it was boring? hahahaha. It's just my outloud rant anyway.

Anyhoo, I'm probably gonna either sc or sleep soon. As for tomorrow, who knows what--maybe starting that major work out routine?

--Until next time

jaawshh