IDK WHAT TO POST

Yeah so idk what to talk about today...but I feel like if I take too long of a break that I'll stop blogging altogether again :(, and I really wanna keep up with this throughout college. So yeah, following here will probably be a pointless post...so just scroll to the bottom and act like you read it lol.

Hmm.....................so today was really fun. I got woke up

at 11:22 by my cellphone vibrating from the nightstand with a text reading, "i'm on my waaaaay" This was a text from jeni, a text signifying that she was on her way to pick me up so I could escort her to the doctor. And i was asleep...LOL. However, through this, I learned that I could be ready and presentable in 7 minutes. Holy balls that has to be a record or something.

But yeah so I went to the doctor's with Jeni, then went

to eat sushi with our friend Sara. Our other friend Jason was supposed to come, but that faggot bailed. He had to do JaeSa for his ancestors though...so I guess that was a legit excuse.

But damn the sushi was unexpectedly awesome. The

whole lunch was friggin' amazing actually. We got 3 rolls of sushi: salmon/avocado, spicy tuna, and blue crab. We also ordered Thai Chicken Curry for all 3 of us. Even now, hungry at 1 AM, I'm drooling just thinking about this.....It was all really good T__T.

Anyhoo, then we went to Dairy Queen right down

the street and got blizzards. We sat in a booth towards the back and stared at all the DQ fun facts from history...while talking about the most random crap for a few hours LOL. It kinda felt empty without Jason though...the physics re-uniting event was not fully successful...sigh.

Jason's is missing on the side...보

고싶었어..LOL

But yeah that was my outing for today. Pretty fun. After that I just chilled at home and did whatever until I was bored enough to recount my day on here haha.

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What else...hmm well I have my UVA schedule finalized....kinda.

I got out of that anthropology class and switched into a RELC class on Early Christianity and New Testament Writers. It might sound kinda boring and it very well may be, but it's always something I've been really interested in and haven't had the time/resources to research it myself. So yeah pretty siked about that.

I wanna switch my econ class though, into the one John has. Not only would it make my schedule even better for me, but I'd also be in o

ne class with someone I know. Not gonna lie I'm pretty nervous about not knowing ANYONE in any of my classes; at least in high school I'd recognize some of the faces of the kids in my class. For most of my classes at UVA though, I'll be in a sea of co

mplete strangers...so I'm hoping to be able to switch into that ECON class with John. I'll be up for a while checking to see if the class ever opens up though; currently it's filled with a waiting list. But the class is so large that it's likely a spot will open up...all in good time.

Btw, speaking of John....I feel really bad for the kid. His schedule is so hectic cause he wants to do so much. Dude, you're a freaking genius and we all know that but...dang this is pretty intense man. I feel kinda bad almost, looking at my schedule and then comparing it to his. It's pretty crazy how much he has to do this semester, and in all the following semesters until graduation. And even then he's not done with school. So to you John, good luck, and even though we know you don't need it, it probably feels better to hear it LOL.

Hello...I am Chemistry Emo Lee, and I hate my life.

ahahahaha but yeah.

Meh....so it's kinda weird that I'm here for only 3 weeks. No doubt that I'm so pumped to get to UVA and begin my life there..especially after having met such cool people, but there's also no doubt that it's gonna be really rough leaving some people behind here. I know I say this a lot to you guys and enough here on blogger -_- but bleh it's getting more stressful as the time comes closer. I know it'd be best to not let this interfere with the time I do have left here with everyone, and I'm trying my best to forget about it when I'm actually with them. But I'm sure it's gonna get worse when it's down to 2, then 1 week left.

It's sorta a strange feeling. In my head I know that I'm leaving in about 3 weeks. But it hasn't really hit me yet that I won't see these people regularly for the rest of my life....

I'm gonna wake up one day and everything will be completely new; and those people won't be there anymore. Mleh..it's gonna suck when it all sinks in.

I'm too 슬퍼 to write in korean now so...maybe another time. Or i'll just update this later.

EDITTT:

오늘는 이게 결정된다: 난 여자 몰른다. 나한테, 난 여자문제 였어. 말하지 않아도 되지만 넌 전여자친구랑 내 문제 알아. 그래서 그문제 대해서 안말할꺼야. 나 그냥 여자 이상하고 말하고 싶었어. 여자들아, 화나면 안돼. 이게 그냥 삶의 사실이다. 넌 화나면, 재발 나에게 지르지마세요~ 내가 남자도 나쁠 수 있고 알아. 그래서, 그냥 모두 친구하자!

ㅋㅋ 난 무슨 말이자 모르겠어. 이젠 그냥 심심하고 피곤하지만 난 자면 안돼! 나 자면, 내 class 놓칠 수도 있어. 이다른 Econ Class 보기 위해 난 기다리고있었어. 열리기 바래!

읽었어서 고마워요~

[btw credit to some help with the --수도 thing goes to jay lim. even though you don't read this thanks! i know it's hard to explain stuff to me esp in korean so yeah thanks for the help this time!]

until next time~

I LOVE FLAKY PLANS

YESS. Getting plans cancelled 3 times in one day! Although the third time was not really in anyone's control...but it is definitely a welcomed cancellation in conjunction with the former two. It truly is awesome to now be sitting home not doing anything after I thought I had a lot of stuff to do today! And I am not bitter at all! nope not at all.

EDITTTTT:

Alright so the day was saved after Helena woke up from a nap...and said LET'S PLAY! So we played...

First, we went to McDonalds. I ate a mcflurry and these girls downed 20 chicken nuggets each. LOL. WHAT MEN!

Then we went to the fountain/park in South Village...and GOT EATEN ALIVE BY BUGS. -___________- so goddamn annoying.

And then we went to Helena's house...and played this weird card game called "Set." It was like a pattern game where you had to find 3 of either matching or not matching cards....yeah I'm totally explaining it wrong but w/e. It was fun...too bad I was so bad LOL.


BUT WHAT WAS EVEN WORSE WAS YET TO COME....

We made...fail avocado....shakes.

The result look more like avocado paste....LOL. It actually tasted pretty good flavor-wise..but the consistency was pretty nasty. It was a nice try though LOL.
And then I taught helena how to spit out love lines and curse words to a girl in Korean ROFL. Sorry Christina Choi...

Anyway yeah, good end of a kinda bleh day. Let's chill again soon guys :D.






한국말으로 쓸 시간이야! ㅋㅋㅋ

그런데, 오늘는 재미있었지만 처음에 재미없었어 ㅡㅡ;; 아침에 이러났고 곰퓨터 켰어. 나중엔 난 그냥 메신저에서 내 친구들와 깉이 말했어. Chipotle에 Amanda와 Lauren와 같이 가야했는데 그녀들 못갔어. 짜증나 ㅠ^ㅠ!!!! 내가 너무 슬펐어 =\. ㅋㅋ 나중엔 나 브로그 어브데잍했는데...나 혼자였고 심심했어.
그런대!! 내 친구 Joanna 날 전화했고 난 놀면 그녀는 날 물었어. 난 행복하게 "오게이"라고 대답했어!
흠...하지만 응 재미있었어! 난 이걸 배웠어: 하루는 나쁘게 시작해도 재미될수있을거야!

바이바이!!

Waddap Waddap

Yoooooooooooo people.

So I'm sitting here at Deep Creek Lake in a lake house that we rented for the weekend...and I'm

updating my blog. lamesauce...

But actually it's kinda my family's fault D:. I think it's kinda stupid but, a week after my whole family spends 7 days on a cruise together, my mom booked a weekend up at one of our favorite vacation spots, Deep Creek. It really is a great place though (And i wish i could show my friends...who don't want to come with me -_-...), and we usually have a lot of fun, but I think this time we're all burnt out on vacation. Not only have we spent so much time together lately, but we also spent so much money that it's sorta hard to feel okay spending any more money lately, which kinda takes away from the point of vacation.

I actually wanted to stay home this weekend but my parents were like NOOOO JOSH YOU'RE GOING TO COLLEGE SOON SO COME WITH US!!! blah blah. So yeah I decided to come...and I'm doing the exact same thing I'd be doing at home LOL. It's alright though I guess; I mean I am going away for a while realllly soon so they are right, I should spend a lot of time with them

and not just my friends.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mc1VZH4kDcE

^^^^ LOL so i just got interrupted in writing this by my friend Jeni (who is filipino) who IM'd me and said to watch this video...pretty funny hahaha. but anyway,

******************************************************

Anyhoo...yeah, so this weekend has been kinda bleh so far...but I might head out to reston tomorrow with Joanna and Helena to go to some fair hahaha. That should be more fun I hope..

BUT YEAH. So...I'm totally SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKED for UVA now. And here's why:

Idk if i put this up here but, my orientation was kinda gay. I barely met anyone, I got lectured at about random crap for a whole day, and my schedule kinda got effed...so I left UVA thinking "man....this could be a pretty lame first semester.."

So this whole time i've been trying to connect with the few people I actually DID meet at UVA, trying to establish some sort of connection with new people before I got there. And of course I have John and everyone else I know who's going to UVA that I already know, which I'm still excited about!!!!, but yannoe...college is about meeting new people who will be your "life friends" and stuff.

I guess I sorta had a lot of expectations going to orientation because the chigger already has a group of people waiting for him at GMU, LOL. And i've chilled with them before and I always left thinking they were a really cool group of kids that I'd like to get to know better...but unfortunately I won't get that opportunity, whereas chigger will in the coming weeks. So when I went to orientation to meet some people...and I got epic failed on, I was really bummed out =\.

THEN there was a NoVa area first years meeting group hosted by some upperclassman at UVA, which I was really excited for having just come back from a lame orientation. I was thinking, "hey maybe I'll meet some cool kids from our area that I can chill with and get to know." But, barely any first years came, and the rest were upperclassmen, who I felt isolated from -___-. It was just awkward, so me and John left quickly to get some 국 LOL. Bleh...but yeah, at this point I was really bummed about the whole situation...I was leaving my awesome friends here, and I didn't even have many people to look forward to going into UVA.

HOWEVER!

This past thursday, my whole entire view of everything changed. After I went to that fail UVA get-together, John and I decided to plan our own UVA first years meet-up. John, and his close friend Caroline, who is also going to UVA, took care of the invitations. They invited some of their friends who were also going to UVA, and we planned a whole day of fun:

Meet up

Dinner

Noraebang

Shilla

Even though it was a day full of epicness, on the days coming up to it, I was pretty anxious. It sounded really fun but, having been let down a lot in the past (kwow so emo..), I didn't want to get my hopes up too much.

So then the day of the chill session came....and it was terrible. It was thunderstorming, my mom had to come home early to take me so she was pissed, we got stuck in traffic....there was another college-get-together event at another church, so a lot of people went to that instead......everything was effing up T_T.

So I step out onto the rain-soaked street and run into the bank where I met up with John, who had just deposited his money from his tutoring job. He got a call from his other friend Shean, who needed directions, so I had to run to Caroline's car to ask her to talk to him. It was all very random and kinda gay...cause again nothing seemed to be working -_-.

After Shean found us, we then met up with the twins: Alex and Charles. **I will alternate the usage of their names as to not place one before the other consistently LOL.** But yeah, so we met them, and went to go eat food. I ate kimchi-jiggae LOL...but yeah it was really good. We all talked and joked and met up with Christina for a little bit, who then had to leave shortly before dinner ended.

After dinner, we went to MY FIRST NO RAE BANG EXPERIENCE, when we met up with Alice. AND IT WAS AWESOME. I already have said this but, I have been training for many months to finally go to NRB, AND IT PAID OFF. Everyone was like...damn...you're so good at Korean..LOL. I don't like to say stuff like that but, man hearing that really was encouraging :D, but I would just like to say I only learned from my patient and awesome teachers <333

Anyway, after Cafe Lulu, we went to Shilla and chilled there for a while. Everyone who had gone to other events first finally met us all here, and like 15 UVA first years all chilled and got acquainted over bowls of paht bing soo.

BTW, LOL, the SHILLA girl and TODAI girl ARE NOT THE SAME. Just so you know....(kekeke)

Anyway, after Shilla closed after 11, we all moved outside...loitering in the parking lot. Slowly, people kept leaving, but we all stood/sat in a circle just talking about nothing and laughing at awkward shit LOL.

Eventually, the original five were left: Me John Shean Caroline Charles and Alex. Seriously, I'm really glad to have met all of these people. And even though we've only met a few times, and some of us just once, I really hope that I become close with this group. I instantly felt a click with them that's rare for me to find in people that I just meet, and I really value meetings like that.

And with that night having passed, I am now a lot more siked for UVA. I'm also excited for our future spa-world meetup part 2 LOLOL. That'll be another first for me though...never been there.

Anyway yeah, I'm really glad to have met all of you, if you ever read this LOL.

Here's to a good future at UVA!

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Ahh but yeah, so not much else is going on. Sorry that this is all just boring updates that you all know a lot about these days -__-. I'll try to post something more interesting later...

오게이! 그럼…비수 졌는데….난 너무 슬퍼…아이구…비수 질수 없고 비수 지면 안돼!
그런데, 오늘는 심심해. 나 Deep Creek에 있지만 많이 하지 않았어 =\ 내일 우리 갈거야서 괜찮아. 난 내 친구들과 깉이 있으면 좋겠어. 하지만 내일 그럴게! 친구들랑 시간이 없는데…내 친구들없이 나 우울할거야. 다 보고싶을거야!!!! ㅠ____ㅠ. 나 새 친구들 만았어서 좋아해! 내 여기서 친그들 곧 떠나고 새 친구대해서 좋아해서, 난 우죄느껴. 그냥..난 정말 다 내 친구들 계속하고 싶어. 내 소원이다.

until next time~

Mind Blown

HELLOOOO EVERYBODY...

I just got back from watching Inception and i am totally mind f*cked. HOLY SHEKKI WTF DID I JUST WATCH!?!?! I don't wanna spoil ANYTHING, so I won't say anything...but please go watch it. I'm usually not really into movies, and I actually don't like going to the movie theaters all that much...so for me to be so pumped about a movie means something. THIS WAS A GOOD ONE. GENIUS!!!!

But anyway, yeah so I also just got back from the cruise on Sunday. It was a lot different from my other cruises, but it was still good. I spent a lot of time with my family, and I didn't go out and meet any new people. It sounds kinda lame but I really enjoyed it; it's gonna be a while before I have a week straight of just chilling with my family, so it was a good trip before I left for college.

AND HOLY CRAP I ATE SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH GOOD. I'm such a fat ass now LOL. But man, it was goooooooooooood food.

Hmm, what else.

Well, tomorrow I'm going to a "makeup meeting" for UVA first years in the NOVA area since the first one failed sooooooooo hard...We were basically ostracized by super fobby upper class man..so it was hard for the 4 first years that were there...-_-

This time is gonna be different though :D!! First I'm gonna meet John at centreville library, where he will be finishing up his tutoring session with some kid (our income...i mean his income for college spending). Then we're gonna meet everyone else when he finishes, and decide where to eat. After we're all fat and happy, we're then gonna go to an NRB place. A legit NRB place. I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED. I've been preparing for this day ever since I started learning how to read Korean in junior year. Actually, my original reason for learning how to read was just so I could sing a long to the songs I liked LOL...but as you all know it just grew from there. Then we're gonna go back to my house and John is just gonna crash there. Definitely a good day ahead of me tomorrow, so I am quite excited.

Hmm...well I suppose I should practice Korean, especially since it's been a while...even though my brain is like ajsdflakwjertwaey wtf:

안녕,

오마이갓...내 뇌가 너무나 아파 ㅜ^ㅜ;; 인셉션 봤어서 나 이렇게. 나 내 친구 Gigi와 같이 영화 봤어. 하.지.만. 데이트않았어. 진짜! 내 다른 친구 John한테 데이트인 거 같아 ㅡㅡ;; 바보같아. 이말이 유지하지만 John 잘못이야. 아이구ㅜㅜㅜ. 사실, Gigi 6th grade부터 내 친구됐어. 너무 오래 들어 우리 친구 됐어서 우리 애인아니다. 알았나? 그녀한테 나 lamppost처럼 거 겉아 ㅡㅡ...ㅋㅋㅋ.

오게이....나 긑났다. 바이바이!

Btw I failed so hard on this...T_T. I tried some new stuff that I don't know how to say D:...but I guess it's all a learning process. Anyhoo thanks for reading :D

until next time~

Holy Balls I am bored.

"Dang, two days in a row? Luigi must be really motivated to update these days!"
Sadly, I wish this was the case; however, I'm just seriously freaking bored. No one's really talking to me so..I'm just gonna ramble on here until I get distracted or until I get tired enough to ktfo or something.

So yeah, we drove to Florida today. After a 12ish hour drive, I'm finally here at my grandma's house to stay the night. Tomorrow morning, we will wake up and drive to the ship, and disappear for 7 days. I already had a long talk about that yesterday though, so no point in elaborating on that again.

This time though, the car ride wasn't too bad. It wasn't fun, but it actually seemed to go by a lot faster this time. I remember being a lot younger and making the trip here and wanting to die of boredom. Maybe it was cause I was ktfo for a good deal of the ride, but it was not as arduous as I remember.

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Before deciding to update again, I read through all of my old blog posts, just to see what I've been thinking for the past half-year. And although there was definitely not as much content as i had hoped there would be, it was still interesting to read the stuff and recapture all the feelings and events that I was feeling/going through at that time.
Btw that's something I really regret btw. I know there are no regrets in life blahblah w/e, but I really wish I had kept up with my blog more consistently. I was pretty good with it in the beginning, but after a while I stopped blogging entirely. I hope that I start to update more regularly again so I actually have something substantial to look through whenever I decide to again.


Augh...so I've basically stopped going to youth group entirely. I'm pretty upset about that. It's not so much me and my view towards God though; if anything that hasn't changed. It's really just something between me and my youth group itself. It's a selfish, immature, and stupid reason really -__-...but unfortunately it's something that I can't really do anything about now.

In short, I've been going to ECHO even before it was ECHO, when it was still just me and 5 other people in my pastor's new townhouse. I remember being so excited, so filled with passion and love when I went to those meetings. I remember the retreat when we were given the name ECHO, and how it was maybe just 30 students that went, if even. I remember all the different meeting spots we've had to go to, all the different church offices. I remember it all really, even since I started coming to Dulles Community Church in the middle of 8th grade.

You could say that I feel entitled to that feeling almost, that I feel like I own it. And for a while, these feelings didn't really get in the way of anything. I accepted that God's calling of other people who did not share this amazing connection was more important than any petty feeling of comfort that I had. So I accepted all of the changes. I went on with a positive outlook and, usually, it led to something good. I made connections with new people, grew stronger in my faith, and continued to serve and love the Lord.

I remember after Fall Retreat in junior year, how I came to ECHO every sunday. I never missed one meeting. But that summer, the summer before senior year, everything changed.

I walked in one day as all the new freshman "graduated" up to the high school service, and I remember feeling lost. Me, feeling lost, in my own youth group. Something that I feel like I almost raised. Something that had been a part of me, that had defined me, for so many years. And now, in a blink of an eye, it was totally and utterly foreign. A lot of the other seniors had stopped coming, or were coming more and more infrequently, and there were all these underclassmen that I had absolutely no relationship with. It seemed like I was outcasted from my own family...sorta like how an older sibling feels like when a new baby brother or sister is brought into the family.

Writing this, I know I sound unbearably selfish and hypocritical. ECHO, my realtionship with God, none of this is supposed to be about me really. It's, ultimately, supposed to be about how I can impact others in a real, genuine, and life-giving way. If I felt outcasted, I should have extended the effort to connect. I'm the elder accepting in the new students; I should be descipiling, not deserting. Why was I too selfish and immature to understand that then? It took a wise and random conversation at 4:00 AM with a GMU upperclassman on a drive home from Annandale for me to realize all this. Sure I can complain about how this all changed, but really, really, in the end, I missed the entire point of everything that I had claimed to "own" for four years. How pathetic.

Now, realizing this too late, I'm stuck thinking that it's too late to go back now and do anything worthwhile, so I have to just sit here with this awkward tension, knowing that people are wondering about me as I wonder about ECHO. How is my youth pastor doing really? How are all the freshman doing that I completely missed out on for a whole year?

Justin, if you ever stumble across this, I am truly, and unforgettably sorry for this terrible mistake. I hope I can say this to you in person some day, but for now, this is all I can do. In such a dumb state I can't face the person who had so much faith and who spent so much time leading me, only for me to throw it away at the very instant I was really uncomfortable.

There is good news though. I can start over in college. I will find a new community like this on campus. I will plug in. And I will not just absorb, I will give back. I will lead. I will not back down when faced with discomfort. I will embrace change and mold myself in betterment with it. Though I will come in as a new kid again, I will find a way to spread the most precious effort I have been given by my youth group, and not just sit waiting for something to happen. This is my promise, and through this I hope I can make up for this "lost year". Only good can lie waiting for me. So Lord, please guide me through this; help me to find a new church family, and help me to find a way to spread what I've been so undeservingly given.

다른 어프데잇입니다!

Okay, so as the title should indicate, a lot of my entry today will be focused on my progress with Korean. But before I delve into that...some minor updates--

So..I'm leaving for a cruise at 5 am tomorrow morning. We'll start driving down to Florida, crash at my grandma's house for the night, and then board the ship Sunday morning. Mmmmm...I have some mixed feelings about this cruise though. Cruises have sort of become something of a tradition with my family; we generally go on a cruise once a year as a family--our main vacation of the year. We always have fun as a family, but we all end up wanting to do different things. That's only natural though. My parents wanna relax and read or sunbathe or w/e, do their own old people stuff. My sister's usually too anti social to do anything really...so then there's just me trying to find my way around the boat. In years prior I've always found a group of friends to hang out with, and due to the surroundings and the week of near-paradise, all of us end up getting pretty close. But, I've noticed that as the years go by, it gets harder and harder to meet those friends each time. This, being my last cruise as a "kid", will most likely be relatively difficult. I'm usually okay meeting people and doing well in groups and stuff, but it's kinda hard to form a group when people already bring like 6 of their friends with them...so no one's really looking for a lonely friend like me D:

Ahh well, I really shouldn't complain; every time I feel like I'm talking to my friends about how lame this might be I feel like shit, cause at the end of the day, I'm complaining about going on a cruise -_________________-. How spoiled yo.

But yeah, that's it for the immediate future updates wise. I'll miss my friends...and you guys better miss me too D:. Leave me comments on my fb like you actually care...LOL.

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OOOkkkaaayyy...so for the non-korean readers it kinda ends here. You can still read along if you want, though :P.

Hmm...so one time when I was practicing my korean, I decided to write a paragraph about a topic, and had my friend and eventually his mom go over it and make corrections. I'm gonna do something like that again: just write about w/e for a paragraph. So...HERE'GOES!

안녕하세요,

오늘 크루즈 위해 챙겼어. 곧 내 나머지 옷 마려해야 되고 챙기겠어. 다음엔 난 아마 그냥 안심하겠어. 왜 모르지만 나 진짜 피곤하는데...나 아파 거 같아 ㅡㅡ;; 아이구 ㅠ_ㅠ... 그루즈 하겠어서 나뻐 :(. 나 잘되겠기 바래. 그리고 내 친구와 나 운동했어서 나 너무 아파 ㅋㅋ. 지금 내 팔죽지와 어깨와 등 아파 ㅡㅡㅗ. 하지만 난 이거 좋은 알아! 곧 나 강해 받게돼!

흠....그럼, 지금 많이 말하기 남지 않아. 프렉티스하는게 좋다고 알지만 뭘 말하기 대해서 안 생각해 >:[. 다음엔 더 많은 것들 대해서 생각하겠어봐!

읽어서 감사합니다 ~~ !

Hellooooo?

Okay wow....writing on this site brings back memories haha. But I figured since:

1) Choi always tells me that I never write on this anymore D:

and 2) I've started up using Facebook again

That maybe it's time I restart this account. Call it boredom, call it a need to just write some stuff, but whatever it is, I'm back. [not that this matters to anyone but like 2..3..people LOL]

Sigh...well damn, a lot has happened since I went on my little hiatus. So a quick laundry list shall suffice for now and I'll just elaborate on the things I think need elaboration:

1) I GOT INTO UVA. :D:D:D:D I'm seriously excited for that. Although I really am disappointed that I won't be attending Mason with some faggots, I believe UVA, in the end, is the place I'm supposed to be. Finding out that I was going there, knowing that I'm gonna be rooming with my friend Bisu, and realizing that some of my close friends from high school are going there too made it seem like my college future was just falling into place [shiet... this was supposed to be just a list...but I elaborated anyway LOL. my bad]

2) I just graduated today.. wooohooo...

3) I'm about to go on an intense work out plan..hopefully..

4) I'm slowly advancing in sc [lame..]

ehh...Okay so my life since my break from Blogger really hasn't been all that eventful on paper, but honestly it seems like a lot has happened.

I remember writing on this thing and being stressed about college/applications/AP Stats/and all that high school business. So now, this is my first time writing on this and being able to take a breath. I'm a high school graduate. I'm going to college in 2 months. It's beautiful, isn't it?

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Like my little reference above though, I really do have some mixed feels about the whole college thing though. I guess this homecoming entry is really gonna turn into just a jumbled ramble about my thoughts on college, but bear with me if you can lol.

First, I'd like to say again that I'm rooming with one of my closest friends, Bisu Lee (John). I know there's the whole thing where you're not supposed to room with your best friends or whatever, and I guess that applies mainly to girls, but I dunno..I think I could see how that can be a problem. In so many ways me and John are really alike--it's almost scary sometimes LOL. It's really weird how I met this kid online through another friend, and we instantlyclicked. Before I knew it I met him and all three of us had 7 hour talk about life..until he ktfo'd on one of the beds, still clutching his glasses until the very end (LOOOL). And now, we're both going to college together to be roommates. But, I guess I can see where points of conflict could arise. I've never really lived with anyone other than my parents before; there have been times over summers and stuff where people might as well have just lived at my house, but I still think college dorming will be different. In most of the ways though, rooming with John will be very..hmm...what's the right word....I guess like, assuring? First of all, I'm not going to have to worry about having the weird ass roommate that I'll know nothing about and will have to quickly get to know lest there be any awkward tension in the room. I'm pretty sure having a bad experience with your roommate(s) can lead to a bad start to college in general. I know most of his habits, bad and good, so not much should be a surprise. I'm also looking forward to going to whatever church group we find there; sharing the same faith with him and knowing that we're both really involved in things back at home makes me excited to join a youth ministry on campus. In the end though, if my roommate at UVA would be anyone, I'm glad it's John.

What else...well, there's a lot of other cool people that I know who are going to UVA. Most of the people going from my school are people that I've known since like elementary school, and I'm pretty tight with all of them. I'm not really expecting to be super tight-knit with all of them once we get to college, but being able to see some familiar faces and hopefully keeping those friendships with at least some of them is another bonus to attending such an awesome school.

I guess there is the bad in every situation though (that's a really pessimistic way to look at things, and very usual for me, but I guess reality is setting in). I guess in most ways I'm completely and fully excited to be leaving high school behind. Leaving the school is great. But I'm not so sure about the people. Sure, there are shits and faggots that I'm glad I don't have to deal with, but in the end these are people that I've gone to school with, some for only a year, some since kindergarten. It's sort of sad to be leaving most of them behind as we go out separate ways to college.

But then, there are those few people that everyone has that will truly be missed. It's not just a little yearbook message like "It was fun in high school. It's sad we're all leaving but keep in touch!!"...but more the people who you'd be like "You've made such a huge impact on my life, thank you and I'm really going to miss you." Some people have only a few of those, and some have more than a few (I'm more like the former), but either way, it's gonna be really hard leaving these people behind.

With the time leading up to graduation, especially beginning after the idea of college had finally set in, I've had talks with various college people about life after high school. I asked them what it's like to leave those people behind, and what happens to your relationships with them. Some told me they never speak to their friends from high school at all. Some told me "it just depends on the friendship." And some have told me that, while they've made some of the best friends of their lives in college, those people in high school are still just as important.

I honestly hope that it's not the first; I'd be content with the second; but I pray that it's the third. If it's depending on the people themselves, then there are some I'm not really worried about at all, and others that I feel would more fall out of contact. It's just so depressing, really, that someone that I've walked through high school, through all the shit, and through all the awesome times, through study groups after school, through lazy summer days, through everything, how some of them won't be there one afternoon to say "let's chill". And knowing me, I'm being an over-thinking worrywart; I know myself well enough to be quite aware of this trait. Maybe this really isn't something to expend so much energy thinking over, maybe it's something I have no real control over, but whatever it is, it's something that replays in my mind.

I guess there is no conclusion to this--yet. What happens will happen, whether it's how I imagine it now, or how I want it to be, or whatever. To those whom I will meet and whom I share my life with, I'm excited to meet. To those whom I retain my bond with, you don't know how glad I will be. But to everyone else, I'm really going to miss you.

You know, I have never really had to move schools. Our district was always growing while I was growing up, so I moved elementary schools like twice, but the same kids moved with me, and we all reunited in middle school anyway, so honestly, nothing major has changed for me. I know people who had moved after 8th grade and started completely alone in high school, I know people who had moved right after Junior year and started fresh as a senior. I know people who have moved from freaking foreign countries and were thrown into the American school system to either sink or swim. But me, well, I've always been here. This is my first real exposure to change, and I'm not sure how to take it. In the end though, there are those who will stay by my side, and those who will walk by it in the future, so I guess, in the grand scheme of things, there's nothing too major to worry about.

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Well, that definitely went on a lot longer than I thought LOL. Ah well, if you read all the way through it thank you, if not...well...sorry it was boring? hahahaha. It's just my outloud rant anyway.

Anyhoo, I'm probably gonna either sc or sleep soon. As for tomorrow, who knows what--maybe starting that major work out routine?

--Until next time

jaawshh