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Yoooooooooooo people.

So I'm sitting here at Deep Creek Lake in a lake house that we rented for the weekend...and I'm

updating my blog. lamesauce...

But actually it's kinda my family's fault D:. I think it's kinda stupid but, a week after my whole family spends 7 days on a cruise together, my mom booked a weekend up at one of our favorite vacation spots, Deep Creek. It really is a great place though (And i wish i could show my friends...who don't want to come with me -_-...), and we usually have a lot of fun, but I think this time we're all burnt out on vacation. Not only have we spent so much time together lately, but we also spent so much money that it's sorta hard to feel okay spending any more money lately, which kinda takes away from the point of vacation.

I actually wanted to stay home this weekend but my parents were like NOOOO JOSH YOU'RE GOING TO COLLEGE SOON SO COME WITH US!!! blah blah. So yeah I decided to come...and I'm doing the exact same thing I'd be doing at home LOL. It's alright though I guess; I mean I am going away for a while realllly soon so they are right, I should spend a lot of time with them

and not just my friends.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mc1VZH4kDcE

^^^^ LOL so i just got interrupted in writing this by my friend Jeni (who is filipino) who IM'd me and said to watch this video...pretty funny hahaha. but anyway,

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Anyhoo...yeah, so this weekend has been kinda bleh so far...but I might head out to reston tomorrow with Joanna and Helena to go to some fair hahaha. That should be more fun I hope..

BUT YEAH. So...I'm totally SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKED for UVA now. And here's why:

Idk if i put this up here but, my orientation was kinda gay. I barely met anyone, I got lectured at about random crap for a whole day, and my schedule kinda got effed...so I left UVA thinking "man....this could be a pretty lame first semester.."

So this whole time i've been trying to connect with the few people I actually DID meet at UVA, trying to establish some sort of connection with new people before I got there. And of course I have John and everyone else I know who's going to UVA that I already know, which I'm still excited about!!!!, but yannoe...college is about meeting new people who will be your "life friends" and stuff.

I guess I sorta had a lot of expectations going to orientation because the chigger already has a group of people waiting for him at GMU, LOL. And i've chilled with them before and I always left thinking they were a really cool group of kids that I'd like to get to know better...but unfortunately I won't get that opportunity, whereas chigger will in the coming weeks. So when I went to orientation to meet some people...and I got epic failed on, I was really bummed out =\.

THEN there was a NoVa area first years meeting group hosted by some upperclassman at UVA, which I was really excited for having just come back from a lame orientation. I was thinking, "hey maybe I'll meet some cool kids from our area that I can chill with and get to know." But, barely any first years came, and the rest were upperclassmen, who I felt isolated from -___-. It was just awkward, so me and John left quickly to get some 국 LOL. Bleh...but yeah, at this point I was really bummed about the whole situation...I was leaving my awesome friends here, and I didn't even have many people to look forward to going into UVA.

HOWEVER!

This past thursday, my whole entire view of everything changed. After I went to that fail UVA get-together, John and I decided to plan our own UVA first years meet-up. John, and his close friend Caroline, who is also going to UVA, took care of the invitations. They invited some of their friends who were also going to UVA, and we planned a whole day of fun:

Meet up

Dinner

Noraebang

Shilla

Even though it was a day full of epicness, on the days coming up to it, I was pretty anxious. It sounded really fun but, having been let down a lot in the past (kwow so emo..), I didn't want to get my hopes up too much.

So then the day of the chill session came....and it was terrible. It was thunderstorming, my mom had to come home early to take me so she was pissed, we got stuck in traffic....there was another college-get-together event at another church, so a lot of people went to that instead......everything was effing up T_T.

So I step out onto the rain-soaked street and run into the bank where I met up with John, who had just deposited his money from his tutoring job. He got a call from his other friend Shean, who needed directions, so I had to run to Caroline's car to ask her to talk to him. It was all very random and kinda gay...cause again nothing seemed to be working -_-.

After Shean found us, we then met up with the twins: Alex and Charles. **I will alternate the usage of their names as to not place one before the other consistently LOL.** But yeah, so we met them, and went to go eat food. I ate kimchi-jiggae LOL...but yeah it was really good. We all talked and joked and met up with Christina for a little bit, who then had to leave shortly before dinner ended.

After dinner, we went to MY FIRST NO RAE BANG EXPERIENCE, when we met up with Alice. AND IT WAS AWESOME. I already have said this but, I have been training for many months to finally go to NRB, AND IT PAID OFF. Everyone was like...damn...you're so good at Korean..LOL. I don't like to say stuff like that but, man hearing that really was encouraging :D, but I would just like to say I only learned from my patient and awesome teachers <333

Anyway, after Cafe Lulu, we went to Shilla and chilled there for a while. Everyone who had gone to other events first finally met us all here, and like 15 UVA first years all chilled and got acquainted over bowls of paht bing soo.

BTW, LOL, the SHILLA girl and TODAI girl ARE NOT THE SAME. Just so you know....(kekeke)

Anyway, after Shilla closed after 11, we all moved outside...loitering in the parking lot. Slowly, people kept leaving, but we all stood/sat in a circle just talking about nothing and laughing at awkward shit LOL.

Eventually, the original five were left: Me John Shean Caroline Charles and Alex. Seriously, I'm really glad to have met all of these people. And even though we've only met a few times, and some of us just once, I really hope that I become close with this group. I instantly felt a click with them that's rare for me to find in people that I just meet, and I really value meetings like that.

And with that night having passed, I am now a lot more siked for UVA. I'm also excited for our future spa-world meetup part 2 LOLOL. That'll be another first for me though...never been there.

Anyway yeah, I'm really glad to have met all of you, if you ever read this LOL.

Here's to a good future at UVA!

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Ahh but yeah, so not much else is going on. Sorry that this is all just boring updates that you all know a lot about these days -__-. I'll try to post something more interesting later...

오게이! 그럼…비수 졌는데….난 너무 슬퍼…아이구…비수 질수 없고 비수 지면 안돼!
그런데, 오늘는 심심해. 나 Deep Creek에 있지만 많이 하지 않았어 =\ 내일 우리 갈거야서 괜찮아. 난 내 친구들과 깉이 있으면 좋겠어. 하지만 내일 그럴게! 친구들랑 시간이 없는데…내 친구들없이 나 우울할거야. 다 보고싶을거야!!!! ㅠ____ㅠ. 나 새 친구들 만았어서 좋아해! 내 여기서 친그들 곧 떠나고 새 친구대해서 좋아해서, 난 우죄느껴. 그냥..난 정말 다 내 친구들 계속하고 싶어. 내 소원이다.

until next time~

Mind Blown

HELLOOOO EVERYBODY...

I just got back from watching Inception and i am totally mind f*cked. HOLY SHEKKI WTF DID I JUST WATCH!?!?! I don't wanna spoil ANYTHING, so I won't say anything...but please go watch it. I'm usually not really into movies, and I actually don't like going to the movie theaters all that much...so for me to be so pumped about a movie means something. THIS WAS A GOOD ONE. GENIUS!!!!

But anyway, yeah so I also just got back from the cruise on Sunday. It was a lot different from my other cruises, but it was still good. I spent a lot of time with my family, and I didn't go out and meet any new people. It sounds kinda lame but I really enjoyed it; it's gonna be a while before I have a week straight of just chilling with my family, so it was a good trip before I left for college.

AND HOLY CRAP I ATE SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH GOOD. I'm such a fat ass now LOL. But man, it was goooooooooooood food.

Hmm, what else.

Well, tomorrow I'm going to a "makeup meeting" for UVA first years in the NOVA area since the first one failed sooooooooo hard...We were basically ostracized by super fobby upper class man..so it was hard for the 4 first years that were there...-_-

This time is gonna be different though :D!! First I'm gonna meet John at centreville library, where he will be finishing up his tutoring session with some kid (our income...i mean his income for college spending). Then we're gonna meet everyone else when he finishes, and decide where to eat. After we're all fat and happy, we're then gonna go to an NRB place. A legit NRB place. I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED. I've been preparing for this day ever since I started learning how to read Korean in junior year. Actually, my original reason for learning how to read was just so I could sing a long to the songs I liked LOL...but as you all know it just grew from there. Then we're gonna go back to my house and John is just gonna crash there. Definitely a good day ahead of me tomorrow, so I am quite excited.

Hmm...well I suppose I should practice Korean, especially since it's been a while...even though my brain is like ajsdflakwjertwaey wtf:

안녕,

오마이갓...내 뇌가 너무나 아파 ㅜ^ㅜ;; 인셉션 봤어서 나 이렇게. 나 내 친구 Gigi와 같이 영화 봤어. 하.지.만. 데이트않았어. 진짜! 내 다른 친구 John한테 데이트인 거 같아 ㅡㅡ;; 바보같아. 이말이 유지하지만 John 잘못이야. 아이구ㅜㅜㅜ. 사실, Gigi 6th grade부터 내 친구됐어. 너무 오래 들어 우리 친구 됐어서 우리 애인아니다. 알았나? 그녀한테 나 lamppost처럼 거 겉아 ㅡㅡ...ㅋㅋㅋ.

오게이....나 긑났다. 바이바이!

Btw I failed so hard on this...T_T. I tried some new stuff that I don't know how to say D:...but I guess it's all a learning process. Anyhoo thanks for reading :D

until next time~

Holy Balls I am bored.

"Dang, two days in a row? Luigi must be really motivated to update these days!"
Sadly, I wish this was the case; however, I'm just seriously freaking bored. No one's really talking to me so..I'm just gonna ramble on here until I get distracted or until I get tired enough to ktfo or something.

So yeah, we drove to Florida today. After a 12ish hour drive, I'm finally here at my grandma's house to stay the night. Tomorrow morning, we will wake up and drive to the ship, and disappear for 7 days. I already had a long talk about that yesterday though, so no point in elaborating on that again.

This time though, the car ride wasn't too bad. It wasn't fun, but it actually seemed to go by a lot faster this time. I remember being a lot younger and making the trip here and wanting to die of boredom. Maybe it was cause I was ktfo for a good deal of the ride, but it was not as arduous as I remember.

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Before deciding to update again, I read through all of my old blog posts, just to see what I've been thinking for the past half-year. And although there was definitely not as much content as i had hoped there would be, it was still interesting to read the stuff and recapture all the feelings and events that I was feeling/going through at that time.
Btw that's something I really regret btw. I know there are no regrets in life blahblah w/e, but I really wish I had kept up with my blog more consistently. I was pretty good with it in the beginning, but after a while I stopped blogging entirely. I hope that I start to update more regularly again so I actually have something substantial to look through whenever I decide to again.


Augh...so I've basically stopped going to youth group entirely. I'm pretty upset about that. It's not so much me and my view towards God though; if anything that hasn't changed. It's really just something between me and my youth group itself. It's a selfish, immature, and stupid reason really -__-...but unfortunately it's something that I can't really do anything about now.

In short, I've been going to ECHO even before it was ECHO, when it was still just me and 5 other people in my pastor's new townhouse. I remember being so excited, so filled with passion and love when I went to those meetings. I remember the retreat when we were given the name ECHO, and how it was maybe just 30 students that went, if even. I remember all the different meeting spots we've had to go to, all the different church offices. I remember it all really, even since I started coming to Dulles Community Church in the middle of 8th grade.

You could say that I feel entitled to that feeling almost, that I feel like I own it. And for a while, these feelings didn't really get in the way of anything. I accepted that God's calling of other people who did not share this amazing connection was more important than any petty feeling of comfort that I had. So I accepted all of the changes. I went on with a positive outlook and, usually, it led to something good. I made connections with new people, grew stronger in my faith, and continued to serve and love the Lord.

I remember after Fall Retreat in junior year, how I came to ECHO every sunday. I never missed one meeting. But that summer, the summer before senior year, everything changed.

I walked in one day as all the new freshman "graduated" up to the high school service, and I remember feeling lost. Me, feeling lost, in my own youth group. Something that I feel like I almost raised. Something that had been a part of me, that had defined me, for so many years. And now, in a blink of an eye, it was totally and utterly foreign. A lot of the other seniors had stopped coming, or were coming more and more infrequently, and there were all these underclassmen that I had absolutely no relationship with. It seemed like I was outcasted from my own family...sorta like how an older sibling feels like when a new baby brother or sister is brought into the family.

Writing this, I know I sound unbearably selfish and hypocritical. ECHO, my realtionship with God, none of this is supposed to be about me really. It's, ultimately, supposed to be about how I can impact others in a real, genuine, and life-giving way. If I felt outcasted, I should have extended the effort to connect. I'm the elder accepting in the new students; I should be descipiling, not deserting. Why was I too selfish and immature to understand that then? It took a wise and random conversation at 4:00 AM with a GMU upperclassman on a drive home from Annandale for me to realize all this. Sure I can complain about how this all changed, but really, really, in the end, I missed the entire point of everything that I had claimed to "own" for four years. How pathetic.

Now, realizing this too late, I'm stuck thinking that it's too late to go back now and do anything worthwhile, so I have to just sit here with this awkward tension, knowing that people are wondering about me as I wonder about ECHO. How is my youth pastor doing really? How are all the freshman doing that I completely missed out on for a whole year?

Justin, if you ever stumble across this, I am truly, and unforgettably sorry for this terrible mistake. I hope I can say this to you in person some day, but for now, this is all I can do. In such a dumb state I can't face the person who had so much faith and who spent so much time leading me, only for me to throw it away at the very instant I was really uncomfortable.

There is good news though. I can start over in college. I will find a new community like this on campus. I will plug in. And I will not just absorb, I will give back. I will lead. I will not back down when faced with discomfort. I will embrace change and mold myself in betterment with it. Though I will come in as a new kid again, I will find a way to spread the most precious effort I have been given by my youth group, and not just sit waiting for something to happen. This is my promise, and through this I hope I can make up for this "lost year". Only good can lie waiting for me. So Lord, please guide me through this; help me to find a new church family, and help me to find a way to spread what I've been so undeservingly given.

다른 어프데잇입니다!

Okay, so as the title should indicate, a lot of my entry today will be focused on my progress with Korean. But before I delve into that...some minor updates--

So..I'm leaving for a cruise at 5 am tomorrow morning. We'll start driving down to Florida, crash at my grandma's house for the night, and then board the ship Sunday morning. Mmmmm...I have some mixed feelings about this cruise though. Cruises have sort of become something of a tradition with my family; we generally go on a cruise once a year as a family--our main vacation of the year. We always have fun as a family, but we all end up wanting to do different things. That's only natural though. My parents wanna relax and read or sunbathe or w/e, do their own old people stuff. My sister's usually too anti social to do anything really...so then there's just me trying to find my way around the boat. In years prior I've always found a group of friends to hang out with, and due to the surroundings and the week of near-paradise, all of us end up getting pretty close. But, I've noticed that as the years go by, it gets harder and harder to meet those friends each time. This, being my last cruise as a "kid", will most likely be relatively difficult. I'm usually okay meeting people and doing well in groups and stuff, but it's kinda hard to form a group when people already bring like 6 of their friends with them...so no one's really looking for a lonely friend like me D:

Ahh well, I really shouldn't complain; every time I feel like I'm talking to my friends about how lame this might be I feel like shit, cause at the end of the day, I'm complaining about going on a cruise -_________________-. How spoiled yo.

But yeah, that's it for the immediate future updates wise. I'll miss my friends...and you guys better miss me too D:. Leave me comments on my fb like you actually care...LOL.

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OOOkkkaaayyy...so for the non-korean readers it kinda ends here. You can still read along if you want, though :P.

Hmm...so one time when I was practicing my korean, I decided to write a paragraph about a topic, and had my friend and eventually his mom go over it and make corrections. I'm gonna do something like that again: just write about w/e for a paragraph. So...HERE'GOES!

안녕하세요,

오늘 크루즈 위해 챙겼어. 곧 내 나머지 옷 마려해야 되고 챙기겠어. 다음엔 난 아마 그냥 안심하겠어. 왜 모르지만 나 진짜 피곤하는데...나 아파 거 같아 ㅡㅡ;; 아이구 ㅠ_ㅠ... 그루즈 하겠어서 나뻐 :(. 나 잘되겠기 바래. 그리고 내 친구와 나 운동했어서 나 너무 아파 ㅋㅋ. 지금 내 팔죽지와 어깨와 등 아파 ㅡㅡㅗ. 하지만 난 이거 좋은 알아! 곧 나 강해 받게돼!

흠....그럼, 지금 많이 말하기 남지 않아. 프렉티스하는게 좋다고 알지만 뭘 말하기 대해서 안 생각해 >:[. 다음엔 더 많은 것들 대해서 생각하겠어봐!

읽어서 감사합니다 ~~ !